Despite that it states ‘Roger Corman Classics’ and sports a green alien beast on the cover, this is neither, but it does have porn starlet Traci Lords making her first foray into becoming a real actress. Well sort of.
Jim Wynorski, director of the wonderful ‘The Bare Wench Project’ and the nifty titled ‘Scream Queen Hot Tub Party’ , has Traci strutting her stuff as a perky nurse who stumbles on to an Earth invasion plot and only her charms can save the day.
After a title sequence, which involves clips from other Roger Corman produced ‘classics’ (‘Piranha’, ‘Battle Beyond the Stars’, ‘Humanoids from the Deep’ and ‘Galaxy of Terror’ , which are all better movies than the one we have here); we have an unfortunate couple getting frisky in the back seat of a car coming to an untimely end. Now enter Mr. Johnson (Arthur Roberts), looking like an extra from ‘The Blues Brothers’ , he seems to have a rare blood condition and is seeking help from Dr. Rochelle (Ace Mask). He is in need of a blood transfusion in a no-questions-asked manner. The Dr. gets a little brain washed and states to his nurse that she is to help the shadey Mr Johnson have a transfusion on a daily basis.Nurse Nadine Story (Traci Lords) is only too willing to help, quipping natty one-liners and for a change keeping her uniform on, well for the first 24 minutes anyway. She moves into the Johnson residence, which also has ex-con manservant Lenny (Jeremy Perrin) doing all that is necessary for the mysterious Mr Johnson. At $2,000 a week there are few questions getting asked from Lenny, but things are becoming strange for Nurse Story. Not only is her boyfriend, Officer Harry (Roger Lodge), getting spooked about Nadine sharing her abode with crooked Lenny but also there are bodies turning up throughout the city drained of their blood.
It seems that Mr Johnson is actually an alien, and he has been testing out the blood supply of unwitting humans to save his own race. There is trouble in the harvesting as a human being cannot survive the space portal back to his home world so it looks like the human race will be turned into cattle ! The plan is hatched, and a Bee Gee look-a-like alien tells him that time is of the essence as his own world is in chaos.Just in case you start nodding off during the proceedings, naked breasts are flung into the plot to spice things up, but Miss Lords seems quite shy here. A short towel dry scene and one of those toss the hair moments in a bedroom with happy Harry is all the nakedness Miss Lords has on offer. A few prostitutes and a Birthday stip-o-gram provide their ampleness until Mr Johnson zaps them with his glowing eyes.
As if this was not enough to be getting on with, one of Mr Johnson’s alien colleagues comes through the portal and is in need of a quick transfusion, but she gets some contaminated blood instead and goes on a rabies rampage !
Overall, this is an inept remake of a low budget quickie from Corman, which was not a masterpiece in the first place. I suppose some fun can be had here, but that all depends on how many beers you have consumed first.This is a movie only DVD with no extras, but then what did you expect…
'Not of this Earth' is available via Amazon and AmazonUK .database .
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